Domestic Violence

 I would like to talk to the 'Victor's' right now, "First". A 'Victor' is the person that commits the act of 'Violence' against another body such as a Man, Woman, Child or Animal. Get yourself help before you do something that you will have to pay for and live with the rest of your life. You have the 'Right' to get help and to be heard. Learning what causes you to do this is the 'First Step' towards being a better person and gaining the respect of others. Some 'Victors' have learned they were allergic to alcohol, drugs or certain foods. While some have learned they have Anger Management problems due to growing up in that type of home environment. Hurting the ones you love is not going to make you feel better, it is not the answer to your problems or frustration. During the attack something could go terribly wrong, the one you're attacking could fall and hit their head and end up dead. Should they lose their life you will be charged with Murder and will lose your freedom. You will be haunted by this the rest of your life, wishing you hadn't done it. Saying "You are Sorry" will not bring that  person or animal back to life. Once it is done that is it 'Your' life as you know it will be over. There are some very bad to the bone tough people in jail that may cause harm to you while you are there. They may be tougher than you, then what are you going to do? In jail you can't count on the guards to save you, sometimes they don't know what's going on until it's too late. You want 'control' but in the end you will not have control...someone else will have the control over you. Habits are hard to break but with help it can be done. Get help you will be glad that you did. My husband got help he was a 'Victor' and was glad he took the steps of getting help. He has liver failure now and is in the end stages. He used to be a heavy alcoholic. For 18 years now he has been alcohol free... with support of A.A. (Alcoholics Anonymous) Free of charge. You have to want the help to get help. You have to want to change. He's been alcohol free for 18 years but the damage was already done, now he's awaiting a transplant. He struggles to survive. I take care of him and am trying to help him get the transplant he desperately needs. I found him dead on the floor in the middle of the night all of his blood was on the floor. He laid there not breathing. Paramedics revived him three times. He was given only 6 months to live and that was 5 years ago. He is disabled unable to return to work. He is strong willed and doing the best that he can to live. He has become a wonderful and loving husband. I am proud to be his wife and have forgiven him for abusing me in the past, ONLY because he got help and stuck to it. He went through counseling also as an outpatient. He wanted to be a better man and now he is. It doesn't take you to come within inches of losing your life to change. You can get help now and have a much better life with the ones you love. Or you can end up in prison and end up being alone for the rest of your life. You may find a job that's pay is incredible and would really help you out...the Employer may pull a alcohol/drug test on you that would not qualify you for the position. The Employer may do a background check on you to learn you have been an abuser and arrested for it. The Employer may not hire you because of the things you have done and this could haunt you for the rest of your life. It takes a 'Strong person' to admit they have a problem and it takes a Stronger person to do something about it by getting help. My husband met some new friends at the support groups he attended and they became friends and a support to each other. If you can't change for the one you love, change for yourself. You can do this I know you can. Make the commitment to help yourself the benefits will be well worth it. ~